Archive for June, 2013

June 30, 2013

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

CHAPTER 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But… it isn’t my fault.

CHAPTER 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in.  It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5
I walk down another street.

By: Portia Nelson

http://www.mountainwings.com/past/3251.htm

June 29, 2013

Hole in the Heart

 

“There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God…” Blaise Pascal

The vacuum does not get filled with the promise of heaven. It does not get filled by assenting to creeds about God. It is not filled with a more moral life. It is not filled by political rightness, superiority, religious ought, or even social justice. It is not filled by promises, self-abnegation or self-denial. Not by straining to get more of anything. It is not filled by sufficient discipline or cynical hipness. It is not filled by being right. It is not filled by what you don’t like, or what you stand against. It is not filled with self-actualized, self-adored, self-entitlement. It is not filled with formulas, techniques, steps or patterns. It does not get filled by beating yourself up for not feeling filled.

It gets filled by enjoying the Christ who is: over, above, under, inside, through, within, amongst, in between and conjoined within every molecule of my being, in absolute delight. It gets filled in trusting that Christ really lives fused within me. It gets filled with the astonishing apprehension that I am righteous, holy, beloved, worthy, enough, adored, forgiven, favored, and loved beyond human measure-on my worst day. It gets filled with the astonishing realization that God is not holding out until I get consecrated or sanctified enough, or get enough of my stuff confessed, fixed, or rearranged. It gets filled when I grow absolutely weary of trying to care enough to compel Him to make my life count and make this religious angst go away. It gets filled when I stop trying to play Him, work Him, manipulate Him, or conjure Him. It gets filled when I get disgusted of trying to dance around Him; “getting away” with some lesser existence of God-avoided self-gratification. It gets filled when I am shockingly convinced that out of the entire universe, He chooses to give His full attention to me. It gets filled when all of these convictions allow me to give away this love, which now overflows from me, to those God allows me to influence.

It takes many their entire lives to finally have that vacuum filled.

…It was never supposed to be that hard.

Posted on Thu, June 27, 2013 by John Lynch

http://truefaced.com/hole-in-the-heart

June 24, 2013

Where Are they?

Vulnerable …Open

Two words that are easy to overlook when writing….

what do I mean?? Well, I can write flowery words and allude to my meaning and never openly state a thing and never reveal the me under the words and just let vulnerability slip through the cracks.

That being said,  today I write plainly!

Friends can I just be honest and give view to the things I have been mulling over and concerned about? I thank you in advance. Its just not a pretty subject.

We have been going through WONDERSTRUCK in my home church. Margaret Feinberg has asked that we write a lament. I find I am more open if I am open in blog and real life. So here it goes…

Being a wife is one of the hardest things I have even done! To follow after Christ and read His word, to hear His words within and when you share with your spouse and he doesn’t agree or even try to see the truths and where you are coming from, and the church says to “defer” to your husband because He is suppose to be “the head of the wife”  is the most painstakingly annoying thing there is!

Eph 5:22  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Don’t get me wrong I love my husband and I am committed to him and rely on him greatly in mind and heart and NO!! life is not terrible but these are things that plague me and I think the 20th century female mainstream Christian spouse experience. It is sad! Being married is NOT easy. It can be distracting to the mind since I am constantly trying to find a way to help him see what I am saying when we disagree. Can someone say PLEASE HEAR ME? Its a fight in my heart not to get so angry I want to punch him in the face. Annoying to the emotions in the times I feel like I am not being heard and I live on an emotional rollercoaster. Full of miscommunication and hurt feelings especially if we aren’t on the same page. Have you heard yourself say Do you care?  When you have two people with thinking minds and their perspectives on how to walk with God and they do not match, one pressing in and the other coasting through life so it seems. One an outdoors man awing at creation and the other a book worm and indoor comfort nut.  When life gets to    ust going through the motions it makes for a battle that keeps coming back because the issue never gets settled. Then when passions flare the expectations of “what is a godly wife?” is challenged and I fight in my mind the guilt battle between expressing myself or stuffing it and even that is a challenge when I get the impression that to express my thoughts is unwanted and I better watch those tones and facial expressions. Where is the …it is ok to be authentic and speak how you feel, we will figure it out together, I’m not offended by you, I love you, I hear you?

How long will I wait, GOD …how long?? Will I be able to endure, my soul is tired and my heart is faint.

I am sure I am not alone in asking the question “ What is with men being men of inaction and defense and/or out right denial?” It is as if they have decided that since you got the problem, you are the problem and that it is not their problem and so they check out, go silent and move on like nothing has happened.  And so like any married woman who chooses to let herself have a voice in the marriage…and as my bff would say we:

Inflict the comfortable and comfort the inflicted!”

 

Ever notice how when someone refuses to care about how they are treating you, if you inflict their comfort level they eventually want to hear you, deal with the matter and move forward productively. Why have I heard from many ladies about the laziness men have in their commitment to Christ but they are vigorous in the commitment to work as if the JOB is what gives them their identity?? When kids get out of line they are either passive or over zealous in their discipline. It is as if they are blind to the word Disciple in the word and forget to train up a child in the way he should go! I know it is not a new issue and it is still one.

Where is the Warrior flame in the hearts of men to right to CHRISTLIKENESS.

I had read a quote that spurred these thoughts from Ransomed Heart :

The problem with men, we are told, is that they don’t know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But, if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming . . . a nice guy. That’s what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys. We don’t smoke, drink, or swear; that’s what makes us men…..Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask yourself this question: What is a Christian man? Don’t listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt about it. You’d have to admit a Christian man is . . . bored.

 

Women have you ever been ( as my bff said she hear it called )  put out on the front line! Have you asked your husband to take care of something. Sometimes asking him for years to care for you, care for your home  ( fix the broken sink, repair the leaking windows that now pour into the kitchen, guard your time together when there is little time to have, speak up and stand up for you when your children disrespect you, to love you, hear you, speak up for you, protect you from his family judgment or overstepping )   AND he does nothing …no movement ….stays busy with work or distractions, lets opportunity to speak slide by and leaves you out to dry or worse you yourself have to step up and do the man’s job. SO you take the initiative and call a plumber but then he is mad at you when you take steps to remedy the issue!! And what did I do I cancelled the service call! How long God? The sink has been waiting for repair for over 7 years.  How about when you speak up for your family and relationship do you feel like you are risking that so called perception – the perfect view of women “ meek and quiet!”  Its almost as if you have to apologize for having needs, desiring right relationships, respect, love and acceptance and wanting things fixed. When did meek and quiet become silent and stepped on or over and insignificant? Is it a crime to need your husband to love you like Christ loves the Church?

I know this is heavy but it is heavy on my heart and Yes!! we are to respect our husbands but I am pretty sure Christ respected us the best and he told us the truth didn’t leave us in our comfortable little lives, He brought truth and it rocked the world.

Respect does not equal “ MY WAY OR THE HIGH WAY!

Come on …can I get a witness?? …come on now?? Anyone dealing with this??? While this is not a daily -overwhelming- I- am -drowning- kind -of- thing, this is an important issue hitting us women hard, like years of never ending spin cycle hard. For those of you who have husbands who stand up for you, care for you, love you and hear you. Count your blessings, we are not all so blessed in this area of domestic life. It is hard to admit but we are the weaker vessels…but the more our men do not stand and love like Christ, the more the world and the enemy lies to us about how we have to toughen up, push for our rights, manipulate the situation, just go around the man!

God help us!! Who will pray with me, for those of us women who deal with this!! The enemy is heavy on relationships daily….let us women rise to the heavens in one voice and call on God the only one who can move men rightly and may we shake the heavens with our cries! Like every other generation we carry the burden of raising boys who are to grow and walk in Christ. Some where back there,  the hippy generation missed it!  And us women in our ages of 30’s and 40’s are now dealing with “the reaping” of what they had sown in the 1960’s and 70’s

My man is not alone in this for I know for years I had been ignoring my needs in an out of balance way, not speaking the truth instead stuffing it for fear of creating a conflict, and allowing unkind behavior toward me to go unchecked. It has created some bad marital habits that slap me in the face at times through the both of us.  I want to encourage myself and wives to love and live in honesty not in the doormat syndrome, but in the Jesus kind of open loving truthful style.  May we not worry obsessively about how we are perceived, rather let us stand for Godliness, truth, for love, for righteousness. Christ was active and passionate and He moved the world over! STAND! Have we stopped talking to our men about what we see in them, encouraging the good and admonishing them on the bad. We are “the helpers” God gave them to stand by them and encourage them to Godly living. Are we all asleep at the moral and spiritual wheels?? Have their heart become so stubborn that only whipping them like a donkey would move them from where there pride plants them.

Where are they???….spiritually….Where are we for that matter? Where am I?

Me, I think I just cracked my eyes to some new light! God, my God reveal yourself in this situation. Come and display Your glory and sovereignty over my life and home. I know with You all things are possible. So hard when the evidence in not starring me in the face in a tangible way I can grasp. Let me thank you for Your Goodness even when I feel like the tide will never change. God you are a mountain mover, let me watch and see that the Lord is good be my salvation come move this mountain!!

Starla

Come see what God revealed to me when I allowed myself to be this vulnerable, this real, this raw and open. A true Lament from my heart about ME and not what is going on around me or the world. http://starleeta.wordpress.com/2013/06/27/a-lamenting-reveal/

June 23, 2013

Slow Me Down, LORD

Slow me down Lord
Ease the pounding of my heart
by the quieting of my mind.
Steady my hurried pace
with a vision of the eternal march of time.
Give me amid the confusion of the day,
the calmness of the eternal hills.
Break the tension of my nerves and muscles
with the soothing music of the singing streams
that live in my memory.
Help me to know the magical restoring power of sleep.
Teach me the art of taking MINUTE vacations,
Of slowing down to look at a flower,
to chat with a friend,
to pat a dog,
to read a few lines of a good book.
Slow me down, Lord,
and inspire me to send my roots
deep into the soil of life’s enduring values,
that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny.
  — by Wilfred A. Peterson

June 22, 2013

Ray Lammie’s Thought for Today

When one phase of our life comes to an end, don’t hang
on. Cut the cord and go forward to the next wonderful
adventure in life’s journey. Don’t look back … no
regrets, no guilt, and no remorse. We can never go back
and change a thing. The real joy is to look forward to
new challenges, new goals, new dreams and new visions.
We go on with our wisdom, knowledge and excitement, and we take the risk of leaving the past behind. Disconnect from the old and blast off to your new future.
  — Ray Lammie

June 20, 2013

Conversations…

2 Timothy 2:23-26

The Voice (VOICE)

23 Excuse yourself from any conversations that turn into foolish and uninformed debates because you know they only provoke fights.

24 As the Lord’s slave, you shouldn’t exhaust yourself in bickering; instead, be gentle—no matter who you are dealing with—ready and able to teach, tolerant without resentment,

25 gently instructing those who stand up against you. Besides, the time may come when God grants them a change of heart[a]so that they can arrive at the full knowledge of truth.

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